Opa Johan's New Year's, Birthday Wishes

Opa Johan’s New Year’s, Birthday Wishes

When someone is always number one, succesful, strong, very healthy, so smart, insufferable, how I wish him dearly, sincerely, that once he would be overcome by a severe illness, visited by a misfortune and grow old.

Now will I wish, congratulate myself, you, every one, for a bit of misfortune and pray God not to bring too much success, prosperity and good health for us in the years to come, so we would be prevented from becoming a very unbearable, hateful person.

Amen

February 2010

A Fox Might Lose Its Hair But Not Its Tricks

A Fox Might Lose Its Hair But Not Its Tricks

“Tiger Woods confesses his illicit love affairs publicly and regrets it deeply. He said, playing golf very well, becoming famous and earn a lot of money makes it easy for him to go astray. He is determined to correct, reform his life. I’ve read his confession in the internet” Opa Johan said to his wife.

“Ha, ha. A fox loses his hair but not his tricks as the Dutch saying goes.”

“Were I in his place, wouldn’t I regret it, instead I would be grateful for the happy, splendid time I had with them and I remember the ice-dance of Tessa Virtue en Scott Moir, winners of the Vancouver Olympics, so glorious, so happy. Why could such happiness be forbidden so one has to do it secretly, stealthily? If husband and wife could captivate, charm, enchant each other, why seek, chase after forbidden fruits?”

“Blame the money, his fame, the beautiful women for his misbehavior? Blame God who created man and beautiful woman that way. Suppose it was I did it to you and don’t ask for your forgiveness, would you divorce me? I think I would ask God for pardon and you’ve nothing to complain, ha, ha.”

February 2010

Wouldn't You Regret It?

Wouldn’t You Regret It?

Were I ashamed would I extract my teeth that are still left, make me nice artificial teeth and paint my hair black. I’m grateful for them, having served me so well for more than 80 years.

Could you know that one day I would look like as a scare-crow, would you then marry me? Wouldn’t you regret it? It would be a shame were I to cover, hide my poor, old appearance to deceive you. And what is it worth if you just loved me, were I young, handsome, you were faithful just because you feared of what is said that “what God has united, no man ever should separate”?

Now, kiss me if you aren’t sorry of having married me, said opa Johan to his wife.

February 2010

How Sweet, Fragrant It Smells

How Sweet, Fragrant It Smells

Everyone would say that Belo has a bad breath. Uncle Boy, your grandma and Bonny weren’t disgusted, but your aunt Ann as she kisses him, her doggy says: “Hmmm, how sweet, fragrant it smells”.

And I thought that it would be nice of a husband kissing his sweating wife and yet say the same and vice versa or a lover to his, her sweatheart.

So e mail-ed Opa Johan his granddaughter.

February 2010

The Scare-crow And The Little Girl 13

The Scare-crow And The Little Girl 13

“What nice looking tarts. Did you bake it yourself? Yes? What does it cost? You said Rp. 10.000.- per piece? Can I make a bid of Rp. 15.000.-? Would it be OK? So give me 10 pieces in a box, otherwise I would take just one and eat it here.”

February 2010

Song Of Solomon Of This Age 1

Song Of Solomon Of This Age 1

The Bride: Suppose my Sweetheart was offered the presidency, the richess of the world, instead uplifts me to be the Queen of Queens.

The Bridegroom: Even though the whole world might despise me, I have nothing to offer, my Lover chooses, raises me to be her husband out of all men.

February 2010

Just Sour Grapes

Just Sour Grapes

When you’re always number one, succesful, strong, very healthy, you should be grateful when once you were overcome by a severe illness, visited by a misfortune, a failure. Then you‘ll feel yourself not inflated anymore, a bit smaller and be cured of a delusion.

“Just sour grapes” said someone to me.

“Sure, erect his statue, kiss his feet and worship him” said another.

February 2010

The Weak, The Small, Ladies First

The Weak, The Small, Ladies First

The weak, the small, the little child, the aged first, the Dutch say ‘ladies first’, giving them priority, that’s honorable. The hen has her chickens eating first. Your uncle Boy has the pedestrian, the cyclist crossing first, he stops for them or slows down when driving his car. A father would fight, defend for the safety of his family first in a riot.

But whosoever forces, stirs up, gathers, orders, sacrifices other people first, to fight, to war is most dishonorable except he himself stands, facing his enemy on the foremost front as were the generals as told in the Mahabharata, the Iliad, not endangered behind. Warriors then vied with each other to be the first to encounter the enemy. A captain is the last man to rescue himself.

Old men or except a man who is not a man anymore, may have priority. But I, your Opa would be offended, hurt to be treated like that. I’m a man, not a woman, not an old man.

So was Opa Johan’s e Mail to Angie, his granddaughter.

February 2010

Would They Become Less Beautiful?

Would They Become Less Beautiful?

When birds of paradise were as abundant as sparrows, peacocks so easy to rear as chicken, would they become less beautiful?

February 2010