Pak Arif's Musings

Pak Arif's Musings

Oh, what a lot I’ve enjoyed in life but what I could tell, write down is so small, still less about what, how, I really enjoyed, felt about it.

I also endured a lot of miseries, unhappiness, disappointments, sorrow, distress. I’ve forgiven all my sins, trespasses, faults, misbehavior, … I don’t repent, don’t chide, blame myself anymore for what I’d done before, I’m not ashamed of my foolishness, blunders, …. I wont apologize, wont ask forgiveness and whosoever wants to get even with me for wrongs, offenses do so without any scruples.

As I'm over 80 by now, have I become more courageous.

I owe responsibility to no one, anyone, not God except myself.

I am no one's master, teacher and have no master, teacher to obey, not even God, except willingly.

Should I hide this in order for you to love or like me? That's my philosophy.

So said pak Arif to me.

Aren't you shocked, scared with such irreverent thoughts? I'm myself scared to scare you with such thoughts. Could you still like, love me, rather then leave me were you my faithful "liker"?

August 2009

February 2013

Beauty

Beauty

How should I capture her? I saw Beauty in Piggy’s somewhat malformed eyes, so truly, so loving, - how can I not love her, my doggy? - in relationships of mother and child, between lovers, husband and wife, ...

I could see, or find, or feel, or hear her; in a weed, a twig, a breeze, an embrace, in someone’s writing, thoughts, ... and in music which touches the heart, the soul, not just brilliant virtuosity or a beautiful voice.

What is writing other than painting in words and mine are but sketches. I try to capture her in writing my thoughts, feelings, my philosophy, that is philosophy with a grain of salt, in my pictures, recordings and when I don’t succeed, I am to blame. 

Beauty is as a butterfly, she is so elusive, so wonderful.

Revealing beauty in writing, painting, singing, ... in whatever you pursue is somewhat like revealing heaven, you know? That’s my philosophy.

January 2013

A Mother's Love

A Mother‘s Love

“You are so rude, rude, rude. Why do you refuse your mama to force a kiss on you?” while she caught, held her little daughter tight in her arms, she couldn’t wriggle herself free as her mother kissed her, not just one, but many kisses.

So you husbands and wives, remember, to also force a kiss on each other or command: "kiss me”, or steal you a kiss, that is, if you still have any love left to surprise and make each other happy.

 

January 2013

Credo I Most Love

Credo I Most Love

This is the credo I most love and wish to share with you. We enjoy singing this song, though not faultless, rather than reciting together the lifeless credo during a church service.

So wrote the choir Conductor to his sister in The Netherlands.  

 

I Believe

 

I Believe for every drop of rain that falls a flower grows

I Believe that somewhere in the darkest night, a candle glows

I Believe for everyone who goes astray, someone will come to show the way

I Believe above the storm the smallest pray'r will still be heard

I Believe that someone in the great somewhere, hears every word

Every time I hear a newborn baby cry, or touch a leaf, or see the sky

Then I know why I believe.

 

Words and music: Drake, Graham, Shirl, Stillman

 

January 2013

I'd Rather Like The World To Be Imperfect

I’d Rather Like The World To Be Imperfect

What I mean is, to be in harmony, that there are still disasters, famine, sickness, sorrow, ... beside blessings. Moreover, we know, experience the joys, happiness of sharing, of helping, to feel like brothers, ...

I imagine, picture a perfect world, in perfect order to be very dull, were there no accidents, no flood, no fire, ... no excitement. What is there to share were food abundant, to rescue were there no disasters, ...?

What is happiness without sorrow, life without death, what is heaven without hell?

I am so happy, grateful, though I’m so human, no genius, hero, saint, though I look like a scarecrow, ... I have a lot of weaknesses, oh, especially for women, despite I am a married man and sinners are so kin to me.

January 2013

Christmas Not On Christmas Day

Christmas Not On Christmas Day

This is the joy of “banjir” (flood) who kept us in the dark,

 

January 2013

You Are My Little Star

 You Are My “Schonster Stern”

Who is it?

It’s none of your business. Ha. Ha.

January 2013

As Real As Happening In Real Life

As Real As Happening In Real Life

I thought they would finish me. Instead, a foreign woman appeared from the bushes, tended my wounds and took me prisoner, watched by onlookers. She doesn’t care what people would say as she would take, keep me, she said and kissed me there, before my lover, among them. Even were she to set me free, yet,  I’d rather stay, than return to my former lover.

I was a different man, in a different world, you know, but just as real as happening in this dream or in the imagination, or in real life.

 

Am I not a good husband who doesn’t hide this from you? So, as I’m back now, you kiss me, otherwise I would go back to her, to that loving woman. Ha. Ha.

That’s what Opa Johan told his wife about his wonderful dream.

January 2013

 

What Do You Want Me To Give You As Your Birthday Present?

“What Do You Want Me To Give You As Your Birthday Present?”

“Duit” (dooeeet). She said.

i.e. ‘dollars’, money.

That’s what Opa Johan said to his wife.

 

January 2013

Would You Like Some Poison, Dear?

Would You Like Some Poison, Dear?

“Would you like some poison, dear” as Opa Johan offered his diabetic wife a delicious cake.

“Sure, let’s share and enjoy this nice poison together.”

January 2013

Why Do You Hurt Me?

Why Do You Hurt Me?

Suddenly she cried and with her loving, lovely eyes looking up at me, her eyes so sadly said: “Why do you hurt me?” as I tripped on her feet.

I then cuddle, fondle her to make up for my wrong and she kissed my hands. She’s such a dear creature.

And I imagined, pictured Eve, how wonderful were she so loving.

January 2013

Warning To My Faithful "Likers"

Warning To My Faithful “Likers”

I warn you, you might waver, become unvirtuous, inobedient, bad like me or I might shock you – are you prepared? - then leave me, unless you are already like me.

So don’t you like, love me, except you can’t help it. Wont you believe me?

January 2013

 

The Choir Conductor's Philosophy

The Choir Conductor’s Philosophy

“I just choose my pieces by hearing beautiful music, it doesn’t matter the Latin text, or difficulty, I don’t care whether professionals can do it in a week, while it would take me months or more than a year to exercise,  or whether it is western classic music, while we are Indonesian.”

He has now just 7 singers left. His best soprano passed away and another strong soprano left. They are without musical education, including his organist and himself. They started - never auditioned before -, exercising, singing in old age.

Yet, he has his own very melodious music lines of exercising the voice, his own way of conducting, not by just beating time, ... It took him months to train, practise Lacrymosa of Mozart. Sure not perfect, they are not professionals, but they enjoyed, were very proud after having mastered and You Tubed it.

 

I remember as of what I’ve listened to before, not all educated, professional conductors, musicians, singers, succeed, could capture beauty, - not just virtuosity -  yet there are amateur conductors, singers who can capture it.

Then the choir conductor said to me:

“It is the courage to free oneself from being a pupil, disciple, from teachers, public opinion and become mature, wiser. So, music, writing, art, whatever you pursue, even without being professional, becomes a joy. That’s my philosophy.”

January 2013

 

 

With Loving, Lovely Eyes She Looks At Me

With Loving, Lovely Eyes She Looks At Me

With loving, lovely eyes she looks a long time at me and I cuddle, fondle her while she kissed me. Why can’t I look a long time at an angel, without her being offended, frustrated except she is a beautiful painting, statue, or were I but a dog, her dog, she would cuddle, fondle and kiss me besides.

January 2013

Win A Prize In A Reader's Heart

Win A Prize In A Reader’s Heart

I don’t care to ever win a grand Prize For Literature as long as I can win a prize in a reader’s heart. "A woman's, an angel's heart, ha, ha" corrects Opa Johan.

June 2012

Things To Remind Me

Things To Remind Me

Sure, there are many people I very much love, honor, respect, yet warn me to never become their worshiper.

To restrain from riding tandem on someone’s fame, great name.

January 2013

Born Or Not Be Born?

Born Or Not Be Born?

When I can’t get at the meaning of a quote or a poem I’m not feeling bad, frustrated, awed any more. I have almost nothing to lose as almost certainly would, could I find, track the same thoughts, feelings following my own way with the help of common, plain language, simple logic, without forcing me to take recourse to the – for me - difficult written quote or poem.

"Born or not be born?” is just as good, I say. Can you choose it? And it could trigger a different train of thoughts, other than ”To be or not to be.” which might be, not less wonderful.

January 2013

I Am As I Am

I Am As I Am

Were I winning the Nobel Prize, the whole world praise me, it wont make me a bit greater.

Were the whole world to blame me, it wont make me the lesser.

Great, small, success, failure is only in my eyes, not in the eyes of the world. I give myself the awards.

So I remind me.

January 2013

Would You Like To Punish Me?

"Would you like to punish me for all the wrongs I did to You?
How many kisses do you want?"

So said Opa Johan to his wife.

January 2013

Beauty In A Simple Piece Of Music

Beauty In A Simple Piece Of Music

“I just can play this simple music, I haven’t got proper piano lessons before, besides I am over 80 by now, but I still can and enjoy it.” So said the church choir conductor to me.

 However, he reveals the beauty out of this little Menuet in d moll from the Notenbuchlein fur Anna Magdalena Bach, though with poor playing ability, on a simple piano, not a sound-sensitive grand piano, just recorded by an I Pad and uploaded in You Tube by himself. It would never come into a concert hall.

"Well, does it matter were beauty found, heard, just in a  humble room, or during an exercise?"  he said. 

 

 

 

January 2013

 

The Philosopher Wonders

The Philosopher Wonders

As he mused on an egg, there were no bones, no flesh, no beak, no feet, no wings, no eyes, no ears, no voice, no down, no intestines, no motion, no life, ... before. How it changes so fast, but just in 21 days the egg becomes a baby chick and is alive. Man never could create an egg with such superb qualities out of nothing.

And as he saw a rose he was enraptured. How wonderful it was that it was red, and fragrant, it had green leafs and a stem while the earth on which it grows has no red, no green colors, no smell, no fibre, no form, ...

A sheep eats grass and doesn’t err to become a cow, a deer, who also eats grass.

Then, when enters what we call life into a being and where does it go?

What is life, death? The living would choose life, as life is wonderful, so precious, so dear, not death as death is a scare and the dead would also choose death, as death is also wonderful, a heaven, not life.

The scientist remarks, “Oh it’s just a question of DNA and biology, as simple as that.”

January 2013

Picture The Oldest Opa And His Girlfriends

Picture The Oldest Opa And His Lovely Girlfriends

I don’t want to oblige, burden many facebook friends with my writings. But I will only chose you two among all others, to suffer, be punished as my facebook friends. You have nothing to say except it is poor, bad writing.

Can you imagine, picture the oldest opa having not two facebook friends, but two lovely girlfriends? Aren’t you very proud of it? I am very proud of it. Ha. Ha.

Otherwise, you should choose, add me as your boyfriend, not less.

That was Opa Johan’s e mail to his two granddaughters.

 

January 2013

Something Nice Of Our Indonesian People

Something Nice Of Our Indonesian People

During our travel, my son driving and me, visited a  food stall for students of the IPB (Botanical University) Park in Bogor, located as though in the woods. What’s so wonderful is that you’re so welcome, have nothing to say.

A plate with rice is ready, just take it, choose the dishes you want. Spoons, forks, a cup is provided and water you can tap from a vessel for free. Just tell her what, how many pieces you took after your meal and she, our host, a pretty little girl, a girl? She might be a woman as she’s so small,  that’s so wonderful too, summed it up.

And what’s so special, oh, so cheap and she said “thank you” on top of it, while you can sit in the cool garden, do not have to take your own chair, table, spoon, fork, plate and wash the dishes. You can borrow, hire it for free. Ha. Ha.

Did that ever occur to you? That’s why our common folk can live, survive, thanks to such food stalls.

January 2013