Better Know Or Not Know

Better Know Or Not Know

And I thought of Internet. Every one could have access to knowledge, information: about science, art, philosophy, health, … I imagine a time when children don’t have to go to school, every one without prerequisites could study any subject without going to academies, faculties, universities. One could work without going to his office, could have a conference or meeting without going out or abroad. Visit, see Alaska, the Grand Canyon, the Galapagos, the Alps, … without having to travel. That’s knowing owing to internet.

Besides, standing on one’s own, one is so free to express his thoughts without being suppressed, censored by editors, publishers, or privileged, backed up by a huge circulation, great names, certification, diploma’s, without frustrating, degrading, humiliating comments of publishers who reject one’s writing.

And I also thought of patients who knew they had cancer or aids or a deadly disease, or those sentenced to death or ill fortune. Knowing their fate, it comes as a curse. They live in constant fear and life would seem like hell, only freed when they were asleep. While not knowing, is like a blessing. They could still go on living a happy life.

But not knowing what we ail, could suddenly, unexpectedly attack us as a heart attack or stroke. Knowing this is also a cause of fear.

However, knowing opens a new world and could free us from fear, of erroneous concepts, beliefs, superstitions, diagnosis, ... but also could frighten us. We thought the world was flat before and the sun, the moon the stars circled around our earth.

Yet there were the brave who knew what was in store for them. Ronald Reagan did know before that he had de Alzheimer disease. Lance Armstrong did know he had cancer, but he fought, succeeded to suppress it and besides, was several times in succession champion of Tour de France. Of the crew on the shuttle flights in space. Of the warriors who almost competed with each other, rushed, jumped out from the ships without fear while it was fated that whoever is the first, would be the first to meet his death, as I remember the Iliad.

Better know or not know.

January 2009

A Marriage, Just A Beginning

A Marriage, Just A Beginning

And I mused and imagined the most beautiful women which I could choose, perhaps if I were good-looking as an Apollo or Solomon who had more than a hundred beautiful wives. But what does it mean to him if some day he’s old, sick, not rich, not a king any more, they gladly would leave him.

I certainly would be very happy if there were just one woman who picked me up, chose me above other clever, handsome men and still loves me despite my ungainly appearance. And I remember Benji the dirty, stinking little sick puppy who was left alone on a garbage heap that was taken in and so loved.

I could love almost any woman. Could you forbid me not to love so many delightful music of Bach, Mozart, Handel, Debussy, forbid me not to like eating prawn, crab, fish, barbeque, sayur asam, pete, pecel, mango, durian, … or forbid me to like orchids, roses, even weeds as well? Which should I choose? Which is the number one? All are number one. There’s no second.

To be lucky to fall in the arms of a woman and be permitted to kiss her or being kissed.

I did not know that a marriage is just the beginning of a new, still, richer, adventurous life before. What’s a happy, safe marriage without quarrels, disputes, jealousy, “infidelity”, hard times, daily chores… the storms of life, when the marriage boat almost capsized, as what I encounter I never knew, imagined before. Lovers dream of marriage as a haven, a stupid, dull heaven on earth. Ignorant of married life brings disappointment, disillusion,

Yet those unmarried certainly are not less lucky, less happy than those that are. Why? Sure, you, anyone always could be a couple, man and woman as Nature’s Children, male and female, without oaths, papers and wedding ceremonies. I did not tell my wife though. She would say I’m a scoundrel. Ha, ha, ha. So said opa Johan.

January 2009

A Brother Settling Matters

A Brother Settling Matters

“What’s that dripping from above, is it raining?” thought the boy and looked up and saw his younger brother in the tree. He climbed up the tree and without a word gave him a jitak (a knock on the head) and climbed down. His younger brother smiled shyly, kept his laughter as he just peed, up in the tree. “There’s no boy ever wanted to pee in a toilet” he thought.

1966

Read "Noongging"

Read Noongging

“Can you read noongging?” opa Johan teased his fifth year’s granddaughter and without more ado the child set her little feet apart, bended, raised her behind, to be able to read the billboards on the road side behind her from under her legs in the riding car.

“I can.” she triumphed.

“It’s nothing if you just could read if the book is turned, the upper part below. Tell your teacher you can read noongging. I think she would smile and be very proud to have such a very smart pupil.”

“How delightful if she was with us on trips to the Puncak. How we, she and me, pretended to be enemies, how she tried to steal a kiss and when she failed she forced herself to get one. We played with her, we all felt young again. And now she’s grown into a lovely girl, she isn’t a child anymore, I can’t tease her now,” said opa Johan.

2008

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Another Thought On Heaven And Hell

Another Thought On Heaven And Hell

When I saw a Chinese painting of a couple like heavenly beings in a beautiful park with butterflies and flowers and warbling birds I thought that that was paradise or a heaven on earth as the painter saw it. Yet, I have another picture of heaven in my mind as I think of The Vagrant’s Song.*

I can imagine a far greater heaven, even in hell when a mother were with her children, and I thought of heaven as an oasis in a desert rather than a worse hell, suffering in heaven, seeing her children separated from her in hell.

I also saw photo’s of toddlers, cherubs in their happy children’s heaven, their fun, joy, ignorance, … so appealing to the eye and I thought, perhaps it would be even better, were it photo’s not of toddlers but of orangutan (literally: forest man), even of very old people in their paradise, though not so pleasing to the eye but appealing to the mind.

January 2009

* The Vagrant’s Song

A vagrant singing, carrying his precious cartload, a sleeping girl:

With you beside me,
Living, sleeping in my cart;
Right there’s my palace, my paradise.
With you beside me,
The richest man seems poor to me.

The girl is mumbling in her sleep:

With you beside me,
Am I honored as a queen of queens.
With you beside me,
Hell doesn’t terrify me,
Nor do I wish to go to heaven
Save with you.

Man's Most Favorite Choice, Liking, Preference

Man’s Most Favorite Choice, Liking, Preference

“Banana?”
“No.”
“Durian?”
“No, but cigarettes. Cigarettes is man’s most favorite choice according to an ad Pria Punya Selera that was anywhere on billboards.”

Though nice, warm, exclusive they say, but to me as a man, it’s even more nice, more warm, more exclusive, inspiring to be with Eve, rather than with a cigarette. A man is never so manly if he is not guarding, watching over, with a woman, not with smoking a cigarette or being a heavy drinker of beer, strong drinks, dressed in an expensive, luxurious coat or sitting in a Mercy.

There’s no greater humiliation for a man except he is not being treated as a man by a woman, since it’s woman only who could lift, raise a man into a real man, not a cigarette, nothing else.

How lucky a man when he falls into her arms, or to win the first prize in life’s lottery, to be permitted to kiss her. What’s the warmth of a cigarette or just sipping strong coffee as they say. And a man will choose woman, endure hell, instead of becoming a president.

Man’s most favorite choice, preference, liking? Surely Woman, Eve, la Femme.

From Bisnis Indonesia, April 12, 1991

D e a l

D e a l

“Deal?” Angela asked, she forced.
“What Deal?” said her father.
“OK?” and she held, shook her father’s hand.
“Deal” she said and embraced and kissed her father sweetly. She meant, a promise to grant her, her wish.

Never deal, promise, swear first or you might be sorry afterwards. I remember the cruel, nasty wish of queen Kaikeyi who demanded of the King, the banishment of Rama, crown prince and her son, Bharata, to succeed to the throne or the daughter of Herodias who asked the head of John the Baptist on a tray of King Herod.

But this was about a new jacket in Grand Indonesia of more than one jut. (million) Rp. But she’s such an angel, he couldn’t resist her wish, though he hadn’t made a deal.

December 2008